Posted June 14, 2025

Part Two “Why Is Stillness So Hard?”

Relearning Rest

Stillness doesn’t return all at once.

Especially not when your body has been surviving on alert. Especially not when your worth has been tied to being the one who shows up, holds space, keeps going.

Rest must be relearned—not as something you earn, but as something you’re allowed to receive.

But how?

We start small.
We start with honesty.
We start with softness.

Because rest isn’t just a behavior.
It’s a relationship—to your body, your limits, your worth, and the parts of you that never got to stop.

Let Stillness Be Bearable

Don’t aim for peace.
Aim for bearable.

Stillness might feel too big at first. But can you sit with silence for two minutes?
Can you resist the urge to fill a single breath with solving?
Can you take the long way home—not because you have time, but because it’s your turn?

Stillness doesn’t have to be total or long or aesthetic.
It just needs to be real.

These micro-moments aren’t productivity hacks.
They’re reminders.
You are not your output.

Rest Is Something You Let Yourself Have

When rest hasn’t felt safe, it will feel unnatural—even threatening.
That’s not resistance. That’s memory.

So instead of forcing rest, try rewriting your relationship with it:

• Instead of demanding stillness, invite it.
• Instead of fixing your over-functioning, tend to the grief underneath it.
• Instead of proving you’re okay, ask, “What part of me still doesn’t feel safe to stop?”

We don’t just resist rest.
We often resist what rest might reveal.

Create Anchored Silence

Unstructured quiet can feel like falling. So create a soft container:

• Prompted journaling:
  “What part of me is trying to speak beneath the noise?”
• Faith-based breath prayer:
  Inhale: “Be still.” Exhale: “And know.”
• Wordless music:
  Let sound bridge you gently from noise into stillness.

Stillness doesn’t have to be empty.
It just needs to be non-performative.

Reclaiming the Nervous System

Your body isn’t trying to punish you.
It’s trying to protect you.

But protection doesn’t always equal peace.

To reclaim rest, we have to teach the nervous system—over and over again—that it’s safe now, even if it wasn’t before.

Start with:

• Slower transitions
• Softer self-talk
• Fewer alarms, more internal signals
• Noticing what’s enough instead of what’s missing

You don’t have to prove you're not in danger.
You have to feel you're not.

Safe Self-Access: Facing What Arises

The panic in silence often comes from what we’re afraid we’ll find:

Guilt. Grief. Anger. Loneliness.
Or… nothing at all.

Tell yourself:
“Whatever shows up, I’ll meet it kindly. I won’t judge it. I’ll just stay.”

This is how you build trust with yourself again.
This is how your body begins to believe:
You’re not in danger anymore.

Stillness Is Not the Opposite of Purpose

Even God rested.
Even Jesus withdrew to quiet places—not to escape the work, but to remember who He was without it.

You were never called to burn out for your calling.
You were never meant to lose yourself in the care of others.

Stillness doesn’t steal your purpose.
It protects it.

When You’re Still Afraid of the Quiet

That’s okay.
Stillness is a risk when it hasn’t always felt safe.

But you’re not going back to the kind of silence that hurt you.
You’re building something new—
Quiet that holds you.

Let this be the beginning.

When your body tenses or your mind races, remember:

You wanted to find yourself again.
This is the way.

Gentle Invitations for Reentry

Try one of these—not to fix, but to befriend yourself:

• Journaling Prompt:
  “When I imagine a quiet that heals instead of haunts… what does it look like?”
• Reflection Prompt:
  “What part of me is still afraid to stop moving—and what does it need from me?”
• Breath Prayer:
  Inhale: “Be still.”
  Exhale: “And know.”
  (Repeat until your body begins to believe it.)

Final Reflection

You don’t have to flee silence anymore.
You are not in danger when the room is quiet.

You don’t have to work to be worthy.
You never did.

You are allowed to rest.
Even in the middle.
Even before it’s all fixed.
Even before you feel worthy.

This isn’t the end of your usefulness.
It’s the beginning of your wholeness.